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Honest Trailer - The Conjuring
The Conjuring is 260th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr '''and Dan Murrell. It was narrated by '''Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies Jame Wan's horror films The Conjuring (2013) and The Conjuring 2 (2016). It was published on September 4, 2018, to coincide with the theatrical release of horror film The Nun. ''It is 6 minutes 25 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.6 million times. 'Watch Honest Trailers - The Conjuring on YouTube' ''"I think the real evil force at work here was the real estate company who kept selling the place." '~ Honest Trailers - The Conjuring'' Script From the director (James Wan) of that other horror franchise (Insidious) starring Patrick Wilson in a haunted house, comes to film is based on the 100% true ghost stories of a Ed and Lorraine Warren. And it's a shame Warner Brothers settled that lawsuit against them because they almost had to go to trial to prove that ghosts were real. Oh man, that sounds way more fun than ''Annabelle.'' ''The Conjuring 1 and 2'' Meet the Warrens, two of the least funny '''ghostbusters. Lorraine is a combination of Doctor Strange and Jean Grey, while Ed is also there. (Ed: a giant camera on his shoulder It's so small and light.). Together they'll tackle the biggest case of their lives in Conjuring 1, while in Conjuring 2 they will tackle the, uhh, other biggest case of their lives. (Ed: So you've heard this story before?). In hit films that will lay the groundwork for a growing MCU-style shared spooky-vers,e but instead of aliens 'n' action, it's demons 'n' Latin (Ed speaks Latin from a book and blesses a witch in a sheet), and the franchise's signature touch: extremely long sequences of tension building silence. (The match scene from The Conjuring) Aw! Come on! Enough with the anticipation porn! You're giving me scare balls. (ghost claps) AHH! Prepare for two haunting tales about families with so many kids you won't keep anyone straight - except the dude from Office Space (Peter from Office Space: I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow). Watch as it becomes clear they bought their homes without doing even the most basic inspections (Roger Perron: It looks like we have a cellar or something), or tossing out any of the old haunted furniture (Peggy Hodgson: My ex-husband bought all the furniture but the house when we moved in) and got stuck living with every haunted house cliche in the book, like creepy clocks, (Carolyn Perron: The clock stop at 3:07 a.m.), creepy fog, creepy lakes, creepy basements, creepy cellars, creepy crawl spaces, creepy animals, creepy children's toys, (Janet Hodgson: Are there any spirits 'ere?) creepy children's toys, even more creepy children's toys (Girls with musical zoetrope: There was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile), and enough creepy history to fill an actual history book (Lorraine: She's only the woman accused of witchcraft in Salem. Lorraine: ...when the baby was seven days old Jetson caught her sacrificing it in front of the fireplace. Lorraine: ...cursed anyone who tried to take her land and hung them. Lorraine: ...there was another boy who drowned in a pond here. Lorraine: ...she had a boy named Rory who disappeared. Lorraine: ...and killed herself. Lorraine: ...worked as a maid in a neighboring home. Lorraine: ... committed suicide. Lorraine: .... she possessed the mother to kill the child.). Alright, that's enough. I think the real evil force at work here was the real estate company who kept selling the place. Forget the epic demons of myth and legend cuz these ones are lame, unthreatening and they smell like toots. (Carolyn Perron: There's this awful smell. Man on phone: Smells like rotten meat. Older Perron girl: Reeks like something's died. Younger Perron girl: Stop farting. It really stinks.). Whether it's a witch who can be contained by a bed sheet, a nun with the same weaknesses as Rumpelstiltskin (Lorraine: Your name gives me dominion over you, demon) or the ghost of Elvis Presley (Ed sings: "Only Fools Rush In." Thank you.), you can be sure that no matter what they're capable of, these beasts will stick to the conventional 3 act structure of most screenplays (Ed: The three stages of demonic activity: infestation, oppression and possession). Let me guess at minute fifteen they save a cat. Or kill a dog. Close enough. So buckle up for a return to decent horror after years of found-footage drek that has an entire hall of spin-offs ready to go - just try not to think about how fake these ghost hunters probably were. I mean they couldn't be as full of it as the ones on TV, right? ( Footage from Ghost Adventures. 'Zak Bagans:' ''My name is Zak Bagans. If this is the portal to hell, why don't you come up out of that ground and get us.) Oh! It's horrible! 'Make it stop!!! Please! Nun! Take me away!!!!!' Starring: slowly walking down stairs; lights burning out; chairs moving around, "What happened?" (repeats multiple times, culminating in Cindy Brady exclaiming "Jan, what happened?") "Are you ok?" (repeats multiple times), locked doors, slammed doors, bammed doors, and doors that go 'eeeeeeeeee.' for ''The Conjuring- Residence Evil. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.]] Residence Evil woman jumps out, shrieking "Look what she made me do"] Oh Em Eee. It's Taylor Swift! Taylor Swift in the "Look What You Made Me Do" music video (shrieks) Trivia * Screen Junkies did a poll on Twitter to determine which horror movie they should to to coincide with the release of The Nun (2018). The options were The Conjuring 1 & 2 and the 2018 film Hereditary. * In the associated episode of Honest Trailers Commentaries, the writers stated they were scared by the inexpensive but effective clapping scare in the first movie, but underwhelmed by the more expensive monsters in the sequel. * Screen Junkies have produced Honest Trailers for several other horror films including Get Out, '''A Quiet Place, The Purge, The Blair Witch Project,'' ''It,'' ''Halloween (1978) ''and Halloween (2018).''' ''See''' list of Honest Trailers for more. '''Watch the full Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube Reception Honest Trailers - The Conjuring has a 97.3% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Film media sites agreed with Screen Junkies that although The Conjuring movies are scary, they do often rely on silly tropes. Cinemablend said Screen Junkies' video "kind of nails it." Slashfilm said "Even though The Conjuring movies have crafted some fantastic thrills and chills, it’s hard to argue with the fact that the ghosts at the center of these movies can be thwarted with some pretty silly actions." ScreenRant said, "In the Screen Junkies Honest Trailer for the Conjuring series, the first two movies are accused of relying on cheap tricks and gimmicks long associated with haunted house movies, regardless of them being effective or not," but "while there is plenty to poke fun at in these movies when it comes to cliches, the Conjuring series has helped set a new precedent for modern popcorn horror that ought to be admired." Production Credits Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey Title design by Robert Holtby Producers - Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, and Max Dionne Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker Assistant Editor: Emin Bassavand External links * Conjuring Series Honest Trailer: The Warrens Battle Haunted House Cliches - ScreenRant article * '‘The Conjuring’ Honest Trailer: Ed & Lorraine Warren Are the Two Least Funny Ghostbusters '- SlashFilm article * 'Honest Trailers Pokes Fun at THE CONJURING Films - "Meet The Worlds Lamest Ghostbusters" '- Geek Tyrant article * 'The Conjuring Franchise’s Honest Trailer Goes After The Growing Shared Universe '- CinemaBlend article Category:Honest Trailers Category:Screen Junkies Category:Horror Category:2010s Category:Supernatural Category:James Wan Category:Historical Category:Season 11 Category:Warner Bros.